I never thought it would happen to me...
Recently at an MU football game I garnered the attention of two charming fellows, good chaps. It turns out they were state troopers though. The hat, poncho and repeated warnings to me from them should have alerted me to this fact earlier, but MU was driving and I didn't fully appreciate their authority or anger until they were poking me in the ribs with billy clubs, prodding me out of the stadium. Apparently you're allowed to sneak whiskey into the game, but screaming at the coaching staff for terrible play calling...well, that's another matter all together.

I'd do it again though. I don't understand a team that starts first and goal on the one yard line and doesn't run one play with a running back. Five wide receivers and an empty back field from the shot gun four plays in a row, the fourth play being a fade pattern to a tight end who had already dropped three wide open touch down passes in the first half. It's called bunk ball ladies and gentlemen and while it may fly in the collegiate level, it doesn't work in the pros. That goes for every aspect of life too. It's a concept my trooper friends don't understand.

You can't fake power and determination. I don't care how many Middle Eastern nations you reduce to rubble, if you're witless, spoiled, chowder head, people will eventually notice. Not all people of course. Shit, some fans out there still support the spread offense. They don't care about meat and potatoes, time of posession and defensive stands, or well thought out policy and honest communication. These people are morons though and once I launch my voluntary sterlization plan, they will no longer be a concern.

Sleep well.