One feature on this "blog" will be outside commentary. Today we have the inspirational words of one Bryan Hoffman. Don't let the name fool you, he's French.
A Human Hoffstrocity
Pell you shitheel! I'm a semester away from finishing up my doctorate so you better get on that "degree" of yours touts sweet. (Pell here for an explanation: Hoff and myself have a standing bet, $25 million and two Hawaiian islands to the first man to earn a doctorate in journalism. I'm enrolled at the University of Missouri masters program and he's taking online courses.)
There's no shot in hell someone in Missoura is giving you a haircut that can hide the fact that you're a deformed parabola headed loser. (Sorry for all of the explanations, but I don't pay him enough for coherency. Anyway the preceding sentence is just a general pot shot at me. He often side tracks in this direction. Oh, and he doesn't even know what a parabola is.)
Your blog made me laugh...and cry. Laugh b/c it's funny and cry b/c you're a blogger now. I might have to add my own posts to your blog, mostly berating you and everything you stand for. Plus, if my name shows up on that damn site you'll hear from my attorney. (His attorney was deported three months ago, so good luck with that.)
As for the Birds. I had them pegged at a 16-0 regular season followed by a steamrolling/asspounding of everyone in the playoffs to go the distance undefeated, mostly led by Captain Koy Detmer. That is until Evans told me I might not be able to watch opening day at his house. Something stinks and if you ask me, that stink is coming from the Ho-Train. I'm now going to return to "looking at" my shirtless Jeremy Bloom poster.

Hoff is pictured above. The "Birds" in reference are the Philadelphia Eagles. Hoff and I share only two things, a love of the Birds and a intense dislike of eachother.